Let’s Just End It: My Toxic Realtionship with Acne

I don’t know how many of you are out there like me: trying for years to perfect our skincare routine and trying literally any products in hopes of clearing up our acne. When I say I’ve tried everything? Whew, I really do mean everything. What’s more infuriating is when you try the “next big thing” that is supposed to do wonders. It started with Proactiv, then Curology, and now it’s a mod podge of brands and products. It gets tiring to try and keep up with all of it. I’ve suffered from acne since I was a kid (yes, I was the only kid in elementary school who already had acne). I’ve generally gotten used to it and don’t mind it some days, but it’s a real mood killer on others. Just when I think my skin is starting to clear up, I look in the mirror and there’s a new zit or pimple or scar that’s just taunting me. If I’m being completely honest, no products have ever worked for me or even helped all that much. I’ve tried St Ives apricot scrub, African black soap, Noxzema Face Pads, Mario Badescu, Cetaphil, benzoyl peroxide, topical creams prescribed to me, oral pills prescribed to me, birth control, taking Vitamin C and B Complex pills, every product from The Ordinary, and the list goes on and on and on. I’m very aware that a lot of those products are TERRIBLE (I wish middle school me had access to Picky back then…), but I just can’t justify spending another cent on a new product anymore because I already know that it won’t work. I’m tired of having acne. I know it doesn’t define who I am and I know it doesn’t make me ugly, but it’s frustrating when you just want to get rid of it. You see beautiful women with perfect smooth skin that glows and you just want it. How many models or actors have you seen talk about their acne openly and show it off proudly? I can count maybe three. I want to love my acne and be confident all the time, but the truth is I can’t. Our standards of beauty just don’t have room for any people like me. I can’t be bare-faced going into work, or I’m unprofessional; I’m seen as lacking hygiene; and let’s be real, I’m seen as ugly (or at least, “oh she has so much potential!”). So maybe this is the part where I ask for a solution and the answer I would get is “get accutane and see a dermatologist!” But it’s not that easy for a lot of people. I know that it’s a hormonal and genetics issue, but god do I wish sometimes at least one of the long lists of products I’ve tried even made a dent. This isn’t really a post looking for help (although if you do have one I’d be happy to hear it… I’m desperate). I’m more so ranting and looking for other people’s experiences. So, what’s your story with acne? Maybe you had a decade-long toxic relationship with acne that you just got out of. How did you manage to break away?